Statements that sound very wrong if you're not a musician...

Things at the time that make perfect sense, but if you're not a musician you think quite differently :P

''I have a 68mm barrel'' (Clarinet barrel people)

''I was playing too hard and broke my g-string''

''Tongue Harder!'' (Reeds people)

''Don't forget to wet your dampit before sticking it in the f hole''

''You're doing the fingerings wrong!! Let's try in another position'' (Violins! :P)

''Tongue harder! Play faster!''

''Oh, crap my pad just slipped'' (Flute)

''You're taking it too fast! Slow down!''

''Your hands are too sloppy! Tighten it up! It needs to be Hard and Passionate'' (Actually said by my clarinet teacher!)

(For brass) ''Lube up!''

(Once my conductor said) ''They've been playing really well, they've really been feeling each others parts''

''Push your barrel in slightly more.''

''If the barrel won't go in, put some cork grease on it then push, hard!''

''Alternate between pushing the reed gently in and out until the desired pitch is reached''

''I broke a g-string while fingering a minor'' (MINOR CHORD)

''Don't overblow! Stop forcing it!'' (refering to the reed)

''How do you play it? We do it in 7th position...'' (For trombones)

''Don't press too hard or the hair'll get too sticky!'' (Violins and rosin (thats violin lubricant for all you dumb people))

''Get your hand further in!'' (Horns and the bell)

''Your pressing too hard! You need to move gently, like your fingers are stroking it!'' (That was the one I read off facebook. Thankyou to Sasha for that one)



:P Yes I am quite dirty minded, but it was facebook that made me think of these things, damn facebook :P
If anyone else has any other quotes then please, I emplore you, comment them :P